


Never Been Fucking Kissed

by bioticboogies



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: A Useless Lesbian Woos A Warrior, F/F, Fluff, Hawke Doesn’t Know How To Feel About Feeling Something Other Than Rage, I Tried, I’m chickening out of having varric mess with them bc I have no ideas, dumbassery, mostly on the part of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-26 08:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16678006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticboogies/pseuds/bioticboogies
Summary: Cassandra is a. . .  woman, and Hawke can’t help but want her





	1. Love is like a mountain

**Author's Note:**

> yay I’m writing something

Mara swirls her ale around and sighs. She can see Cassandra through the window, beating up practice dummies as she does everyday at this hour. 

“Varric, what do you think of Cassandra?” 

“The Seeker?” Varric looks up from his parchment. “High strung and liable to throw us all off a cliff.”

“She’s a decent warrior.”

Varric gives me a thoughtful look and breaks out in a grin. “Maker, you like her!”

“What! No! I don’t go for Chantry women.”

“I hear she’s not invited to those parties anymore. And she’s single.”

Mara takes a deep drink of ale. Looking over the rim she asks, “What does she like?”

“Swords? Hitting things, especially me.” He gets a wild gleam in his eye. “Get her copper marigolds, a couple goats, and a sheaf of wheat.”

Mara guffaws, ale snorting from her nose. She slaps a hand on the tap and wipes her face. “That’s not even that funny.” 

Varric looks pleased with himself and laces his fingers behind his head. “What can I say, I’m hilarious.”

“I’m telling Aveline you’re making fun of her and she’ll come all the way down here just to kick your ass.”

“Red wouldn’t know how to set foot out of Kirkwall if it was on fire. Now that I think about it, that’s already happened.” 

Mara looks down at the table and makes patterns with the condensation of her cup. “In all seriousness, I do ...find Cassandra appealing. It’s the arms. And the—the disapproving look she always has. I don’t know.”

“Well, Killer, I’ll let you in on a secret. She’s got a secret love of the romantic. Eats Swords and Shields up, even begged me to write more. So get her a gift, Recite some poetry, carry her up a mountain for love.” 

“Up a mountain?” Mara looks at him. 

Varric wags a finger. “Don’t give me that look. Romance may not make sense to you, but for some of us it comes naturally.”

Mara laughs again. “I hate to tell you this but you’re not a good romance writer.”

“Maybe to the underdeveloped.”

“So,” Varric turns serious, “how are you going to woo are esteemed Seeker?”

“No idea.” 

Varric seems pleased with that. “Then let’s get started.”


	2. everyone I know is a dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how to write long chapters
> 
> Any problems with my grammar or writing aren’t the fault of a beta or even me bc no one(also me) went over it once it was written

Plan Woo The Seeker doesn’t get much traction. Varric promised to help and yet Mara gets the sense he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is trying to use her to mess with Cassandra.

“If you suggest that one more time I’m going to punt you over the battlements.”

“Hey! You’re supposed to threaten other people not me.” Varric places a hand over his heart in mock hurt. 

A voice calls from above. “Just bend her over and-“

“No one asked!” Mara grabs a roll and throws it at Sera. She laughs and ducks back over the railing. 

A weight settles in the seat next to her, jostling the whole table. “Sera’s right. She could use a good go at it and she likes you.”

“Shut up she doesn’t like me. Did she say something, what did she say?” Mara leans closer to Iron Bull. 

“Ask her out for a drink,” Dorian says. He takes the seat across from Iron Bull. 

“Get her some knickers!”

Iron bull grins. Mara glares. 

“It’s simple. You’re a hero, she likes your story. I saw her reading Varric’s book. Flirt, be forward, take control. And bend her over a-“ 

She cuts Iron Bull off. “Okay! Advice! Lots of it! Maybe I should just...ask her what she wants to do?”

Dorian’s face scrunches at that. “Weird but good on you.”

“Thanks for nothing everyone. You’re all going to die alone.” With that she leaves, searching for the boldness she usually feels. 

 

Cassandra isn’t at the training dummies. Mara loiters and no doubt looks like an idiot. She kicks a loose stone. This might be for the best, it’s not like she has anything to say. There’s still no plan. 

“Champion?”

Mara whirls around. She tries to appear casual. “Hello Cassandra.”

“Is there something I can do for you?”

Mara opens her mouth and promptly closes it. She wipes her palms on her pants. “You must be busy I’ll go.”

That’s not what she meant to say. Leaning into that decision she turns to go. Definitely not back to the Tavern. Definitely. Maybe the merchants have something good today. 

“Wait!” Cassandra calls. 

She’s never turned back so quickly for anything other than hitting someone. 

“I was angry with Varric for not telling me where you were but I see now I was wrong to be.” She takes a deep breath. “He was protecting a friend and I cannot fault him for that. My friendship with the Inquisitor has shown me that in the same position I may do the same.”

Mara almost laughs. “Do you want me to tell him? I really don’t want to.”

Cassandra groans. “No, please do not.” 

Awkward silence follows and neither moves to leave. Cassandra fidgets with her hands. 

Mara sucks air into her cheeks and blows it out. Talk more, talking leads to talking which leads to knowing, leads to courting. 

“Truthfully, I would be a shit Inquisitor. Lavellan is nice and he tries to be good and fair but I’ve always been violent and I don’t care if something fair or not. I can’t give the way a leader has to either. Leading a gang of horny assholes was my best leader position.” 

Cassandra laughs lightly. “Yes I’ve noticed but I didn’t want to say. You would not have been right even if your legacy would have inspired. Your nature would have led to many arguments and not done us well in the eyes of the nobility.”

“You’re a lot more thoughtful than Varric led me to believe.”

Cassandra narrows her eyes. “Ugh, that dwarf. What did he say?” She shakes her head. “No I don’t want to know.”

“It wasn’t anything too bad. Although he didn’t tell me how beautiful you are.” 

“I— beautiful?” 

Mara nods, heart in her throat. Maker, why is this so hard? 

Cassandra’s face colors. “Thank you, Champion.”

“Mara.” Her whole body is too warm and her heart under too much stress. She might die. 

Cassandra smiles, a small, beautiful, almost bashful smile. “Mara.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could be a one shot but I like breaking things up


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure what I planned but this isn’t it. I want to be done tho even if I hate it. There’s things I wanted to do both aesthetically with the format to make it better and with the actual story but ya know depression

Varric bursts into Mara’s room unannounced. “So when are you going to ask her out?”

 

“I thought I locked that,” Mara says not looking up from her desk. “You have an idea. I don’t want to hear it.”

 

“So here’s my plan—“

 

“I swear to the Maker Varric,” Mara warns.

 

Varric makes himself comfortable on her bed. “Hey dont knock it till you try it.”

 

Mara glares at him. “I’m not going to hire a army of minstrels to serenade her all day and night and order a cake designed after her face.”

 

“Why not?!”

 

“It may not be the worse thing you’ve said so far but it’s up there. Leave me alone.”

 

“And let my best friend, practically my sister, die alone without ever knowing love?”

 

Mara throws her quill at him.

 

She shifts around in her chair to face him. “I’m thinking me and her and a walk around the battlements, Cullen and Ursula did that.”

 

“Neither of them even knew they were on a date!”

 

“Well they’re idiots! I’ll get her a rose and we’ll talk about armor or something.”

 

“You may as well tell her it’s a nice night for an evening.”

 

Mara throws her hands up. “I’m not as bad as Aveline!”

 

Varric gives her a doubtful look. “Your most successful relationship was a one night stand with Rivaini.”

 

“So?”

 

“Never mind, Killer, never mind,” Varric shakes his head.

 

 

She asks a soldier standing in the main hall if Cassandra is at the training yard. They nod and Mara pushes past them and a startling number of nobles for the time of morning it is. One attempts to stop her to speak and she grunts as she shoulders past him. She’s not in a rush to see Cassandra or anything, she just doesn’t like nobles.

 

From the steps of the main building she can see the corner Cassandra favors. She’s sitting down with something, sword in the ground next to her. Mara has no doubt she had been hacking at training dummies; she seems the type to be up and working early.

 

As she draws closer she tries to peer over Cassandra’s shoulder. “Is that what I think it is?”

 

Cassandra jumps and tosses the book behind her. “Oh champ- Mara, are you here to train? I was just training.”

 

“Riiight. Training.”

 

Cassandra makes a sound of disgust. “If you are here to mock me over literary choices you can leave.”

 

“I think I’ll stay. Varric has probably been milking that one for a while.”

 

“He has.”

 

Mara laughs, surprising herself. Neither of them even said something funny. This is getting out of hand.

 

“I know you are a mage of talent but perhaps I could teach you some sword work?”

 

Mara almost leaps at the offer. “Good idea! I have daggers but those certainly didn’t help in fights like the Arishock.”

 

“As I hear you had no need of blades.” Cassandra smiles.

 

“Ah yes, the wonders of magic.”

 

Cassandra grabs a nearby sword and hands it to her. It’s a little heavier than she remembers swords being.

 

She swings it experimentally. “Carver taught me some and I’ve hit enough people with my staff to understand... hitting people.”

 

“Perhaps you’d like to go over the basics?”

 

“I’m sure some of what my brother taught me stuck.”

 

Cassandra doesn’t look convinced but relents regardless and takes her stance.

 

“I will not go easy on you.”

 

“I hope not.”

 

And thus starts the most humiliating practice session of Hawke’s life. The second she saw Cassandra’s bicep flex any concentration she had is gone. Her grip slips and she scrambles to right herself.

 

She manages to deflect about two of Cassandra’s blows before the sword flies out of her hand. Cassandra stops with a look of pure astonishment and then she laughs.

 

“It isn’t that funny!” Mara hisses. Maybe a little too prideful and a little too hurt despite knowing the Seekers abilities far outweigh her own.

 

“I must admit, I thought you would do better,” Cassandra says.

 

“The real thing doesn’t live up to the legend? Perish the thought!”

 

“I am sorry, even now when you are meant to be among friends you are held to impossible standards.”

 

“I have no problem with you thinking I’m heroic and unbeatable.” It’s embarrassing how quickly she calms at her apology. It’s embarrassing how quickly she became upset. And it’s embarrassing how quickly she was distracted by Cassandra’s bicep.

 

“I’d be happy to be your knight in shining armor, Cassandra.”

 

“I have never been in need of one but I suppose you wouldn’t be so terrible.”

 

“You say the nicest things,” Mara coos.

 

“Ugh. I did not mean it that way. My greatest strength seems to be unintentionally insulting those around me.”

 

Cassandra sheaths her sword and walks over to where she threw her book. She sighs as she bends to pick it up.

 

“You should’ve seen me in Kirkwall, all I did was provoke. I’m tame now,” Mara says. She drops her borrowed sword back on the rack and walks up to Cassandra. “You’re not as bad as you think.”

 

Cassandra smiles faintly and Mara can’t help but mirror her.

 

“What are you doing later? I was wondering if you could show me around?”

 

“You’ve been here for three weeks, I’d think Josephine would have given you a tour by now. Or at least Varric.”

 

“Fine, forget I said anything.”

 

She stomps away and it’s an overreaction and she knows it is. That feeling that always lingers rears it’s ugly head and shame washes over her only making it worse. Mara knows she could turn around and explain herself ‘I like you and that makes me freak’ but she won’t. She never does.

 

 

 

Mara stands in the War Room with the Inquisitor and her Commander. It’s been a day since she stormed away from Cassandra and she’s starting to regret it. She’s regretted it since it happened. This is why she’s always failed at love. And why she’ll never have it.

 

“So, I hear you’re courting Cassandra,” Ursula blurts.

 

Cullen freezes as he reaches for a piece in the table. He glances at Mara and back down. “Diverting troops to this region will cut down on travel time.” He tries to change the subject.

 

Mara’s glad he’s here for the first time. “I agree. Though I think scouts and a few camps here could help us root out Corypheus’s forces.”

 

Ursula clears her throat. Ignored she clears it louder. Cullen seems torn on who to support; Mara who can and will hurt him, or his lover.

 

Mara sighs. “Cassandra just happens to be at the same places at the same times as I am.”

 

“You’ve also been sparing,” Cullen interjects.

 

Mara narrows her eyes. Cullen diverts his gaze back to the war table.

 

Ursula is undeterred. “Dorian told me you’re going to ask her for a drink. You should probably do something more because if she’s like Cullen she won’t notice your intentions. There’s a merchant selling flowers.”

 

“Aren’t flowers too much right now?”

 

Ursula snorts. “Definitely not. She’ll appreciate the gesture.”

 

She lets it go after that, apparently appeased now that she’s butted into Mara’s business. Blessedly, they return to work. Cullen seems to appreciate it the most.

 

Mara gets the flowers. She actually spends a full hour at the stand talking to the merchant on different flowers and how they can be interpreted. They land on crystal grace with accents of prophets laurel and royal elfroot. Mara isn’t sure what it means, she blanked out ten minutes in, but it is beautiful.

 

And maybe too much.

 

She hasn’t spoken to Cassandra since they spared. They’ve pasted each other around Skyhold but never anything more. Maybe she could have a servant leave these in her room with a letter. Letters are romantic right?

 

I stormed away last week because I’m afraid. I think your eyes are beautiful. I don’t know how to do this but I want to try with you.

 

Mara tosses the pen across the tavern and slumps over. Ink is smearing on her arms but it’s better there than left on the page.

 

She looks up at the sound of foot steps and sees a mug set before her. Mara shoots up in her seat at the sight of the object of her affection sitting down next to her.

 

Cassandra raises an eyebrow at her from over her own mug.

 

Mara clears her throat and forces herself to relax. “I don’t usually see you in here.”

 

“It was recommended to me that I should come and relax. Seeing you here was fortunate, I’ve been meaning to speak to you.”

 

“Oh? About what?”

 

Cassandra diverts her eyes. “It will not be long before the battle at Adamant.”

 

Mara nods. War talk isn’t what she’s hoping for but it’s something. Something that’s much less nerve racking than romance. Cassandra probably doesn’t even like women.

 

“—was hoping to spend more time with you,” Cassandra says with a hesitant look.

 

Mara refocuses and searches her mind for an appropriate response. “Yes.”

 

Cassandra seems to relax at that. “Good,” she smiles, “I’m glad. Perhaps we could go for a walk after our drinks?”

 

“Yes!” Mara clears her throat. She doesn’t want to appear too eager. “A walk would be nice. I’ve been meaning to do that. Walk.”

 

“Yes, it’s very beautiful this time of day as well. The sun setting behind the mountains is a sight to behold.”

 

‘Not as much as you’ Mara thinks. Cassandra looks at her strangely. Is she blushing? Cassandra drums her fingers on the table as she sips her drink and Mara searches for something to say.

 

“The ale here isn’t very good.”

 

Cassandra’s eyes go wide. “Oh! Should I have gotten something else?”

 

“No.” She waves a hand. “I just mean we could go on the walk now and make sure we see that sunset instead of uh maybe missing it.”

 

Cassandra nods, a little too much. She stands sudden and jerky. “We can go now.”

 

They walk in silence. Given that it isn’t a date and she’s met Cassandra the silence doesn’t surprise her. Even if a simple comment on the weather would break some of the tension. She knows she could speak, she could say anything but she doesn’t and they get all the way up the steps with nothing said.

 

Mara stops and rests a hip against the stone. Almost everyone in Skyhold seems to know she’s interested in Cassandra. Almost everyone has told her to go for it. She never used to be this self conscious.

 

“I have something for you,” she says. The rose she hid up her sleeve when Cassandra approached her in the tavern feels like a weight. She breathes in and out and pulls out the rose.

 

Cassandra looks at it and quickly back to Mara. “A rose?!”

 

“A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman. Although, if you ask me the flower doesn’t quite compare.”

 

“You flatter me,” Cassandra says softly. More softly than anything she’s said to Mara so far, expect maybe that first time she said her name.

 

“I mean it.” She presses on. “Cassandra, we may not have know each other long and maybe I avoided you for a while based on assumption but now I’ve seen you, spoken to you; I’m drawn to you. And- “

 

Cassandra cuts her off, surging forward and pressing their lips together. The angle is awkward and their heads smack together but Mara doesn’t care. She pulls Cassandra back in, much more gently this time, sliding her hand to the cup the back of her head.

 

Cassandra’s lips move against hers, starting chaste and close mouthed and quickly moving to something searing. She presses open mouthed kisses along Cassandra’s jaw and down her neck.

 

“Mara,” Cassandra sighs. “Mara, Maker, wait.”

 

Mara pulls her mouth away but wraps her arm around Cassandra’s waist. “Too fast?”

 

Cassandra breathes out. She trails her fingers along Mara’s arms and looks away. “What is it you want from me?”

 

Mara cups her face and tilts her head back towards her. “I want you. Not just now, not just a night. Maybe I’m being hasty but you’re delightful and I’ve waited too long before. I don’t want to wait and risk loosing you.”

 

“You are not what I expected, Champion.” Cassandra leans forward until her breath ghosts against Mara’s lips. “I want you too.”

 

It only takes a tiny shift and they press against each other once more. They forget to watch the sunset but there will be another and another after that and maybe they’ll ignore all of those too but Mara can’t bring herself to mind. When Cassandra touches her it’s like she’s never been touched, and when she kisses her it’s like she never been kissed.

They haven’t know each other long, and maybe in a week they’ll find they can’t stand each other, but for now Mara is content to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this should be a oneshot but what can you do. If there are mistakes I’m not capable of caring rn

**Author's Note:**

> Good? Bad? I’ll write more anyway!


End file.
